Talking Cock - Tom Baker BT Messages

An assortment of fifteen jokes, beat poems, anecdotes and surreal ramblings relayed to me by 'Tom Baker' during his incarnation as the 'Voice of BT Answerphone Messages'

01 Not the Legs He was Lacking 02 The Norse God of Futile Physical Exertion 03 Working for The Lonely Hostage Guides 04 I was Greeted Tenuously by a Middle European 05 He Wouldn't Give You The Drippings from his Snout 06 Wondering If The Little Guy in Hanson Really Played The Drums 07 Sting's Arse

08 The Tale of The Driving Instructor Who Took His Students Dogging 09 Did I Ever Tell You The One about The Amputee... 10 Minuet Vouty Crump Crump 11 A Whimper of Taut Despair 12 If You F**k the Pack Ponies, Someone Else will have to Carry The Luggage 13 Dirk was a Mortician 14 Post-Prandial Noodles 15 One of Picasso's Guitars