Alone and Blue

Demo for a dancey song. Stupid lyrics, just there to show how the tune fits into the arrangement.

Alone and Blue

Phil Collins Interview

A cut-up interview in which he claims he “is not deliberately pioneering”. So accidentally, then.

The Best of Collins.

Cosmic Oompah – Circus Tune

Cosmic Oompah - Circus Tune

The Beginner’s Guide to Piratical Reggae

Spamdunk! Food-processed accordion hip-hostelry flavas.

ABOVE: A real shop. It can be found on the high street in Gainsborough.

Piratical Reggae in 7/8

Jazzvert

Cop-show jazz for a Bud Powell-style pianist. I'm picturing a 1940s remake of Les Misérables, hence the title.

Jazzvert.

Another Tiger in the Wall

Another Tiger in the Wall

A mash-up showing the similarity between the two songs. The Three Stooges mess up the middle, pesky cunts.

Musette Music in C - Glockenspiel and Xylophone

A pared-down musette piece. Imagine an organ rolling it out, a gypsy guitarist plucking along insouciantly.

Accordion Music in C - Glockenspiel and Xylophone

Friar With A Wristwatch - A Guitar Solo Transplant

You are passing Fantasy World. It's a shop that's always been on the way to where you're going, just around the corner from Glenn Close. It takes you a moment to notice at first.

But there it is.

The giant rabbit.

You slow down. You approach.

Something about the way Harvey's hand rests on Dorothy's shoulder tells you this never really happened, or if it did, only in the Gospel of your fucked-up Gaviscon Oz.

Friar With A Wristwatch (Colourised Harvey Nightmare)

TECHNICAL NOTES: A manipulated and varispeeded guitar solo is transplanted onto a chugging bass riff. The manipulation may or may not be reminiscent of this.

An Interview with my Grandfather

A conventional enough interview which has had all of the silences (and near-silences) removed. This is not an unusual practice in editing interviews, but here it makes for intense, perhaps uncomfortable listening. I find that some of the rhythms and cadences of speech make it almost unbearable at times. Perhaps this is the converse of the 'awkward silence'.


An Interview with my Grandfather

Making Love with Mr Blue Sky in Paradise

A glitchy little tune that's equal parts Ivor Cutler, Geordie Racer, ELO and Amen Corner.


Making Love with Mr Blue Sky in Paradise

Boyz 2 Rolf

"Did You Throw Up?"

A cutup of Rolf Harris' version of 'Two Little Boys'. The verses have been mixed up but serendipity saw to it that somehow they made a Daliesque kind of sense. You'll see what I mean.



Rolf2Boys

Rainbird (Using the BBC's 'Pips')

Cheerful little spiritual rendered gimmicky by use of sampled Radio 4 pips.


Rainbird (Using the BBC's 'Pips')

Talking Cock - Tom Baker BT Messages

An assortment of fifteen jokes, beat poems, anecdotes and surreal ramblings relayed to me by 'Tom Baker' during his incarnation as the 'Voice of BT Answerphone Messages'

01 Not the Legs He was Lacking

Howler in Ma House

Flamenco has a little brush with jazz and I-don't-know-what kind of beat.


Howler in ma house - Sugar Knees

Music for a Western

A handful of attempts at creating atmospheric incidental music using samples from other classical records.


01 - Sanguine Berries - Western Main Theme


02 - Ride theme

Little Helper T Cells

"Talk to the cells in your body a little, Louis."
"I love my helper T cells..."


Little Helper T Cells

Der Verbotene Blick

Pipe Nightmares Alleviated by Saxophone.

Almost threatens to break out into the Family Ness theme tune.

Der Verbotene Blick - EuroMole

Radio Squirls

Radio Squirls

"As far as the first Reform Bill, yes..." 

An audio collage of one minute's dial-twirling on the radio. It's probably got a name, but I've called this Squirls. I find it rather amusing.

Teeny Cutups: Sparky's Stools, Jemima Puddle-F**k and Tongue Twisters

Three clips linked by my common indifference to them.

I wish I could invent a program to replace all the 'd' sounds in my audiotape version of Jemima Puddleduck with 'f's. Then I might listen to them.

Sparky - I'm Going to Show You My Stools

Of Magic Piano fame. A worrying threat from said instrument.

Jemima Puddle-F**k

Apologies Beatrix Potter.


Terrible Tongue Twisters

Mechanical Jazz - Featuring a Synthetic Jazz Guitar Solo

Mechanical Jazz (feat. synthetic guitar solo)